I sincerely apologize for the unceasing pinching I have put you through lately. I hope you understand. It's not that I don't want to rub two of you together. It's just that you look so wrung out after all the squeezing I do.
I would really like to try that deal where you save one to earn one. Is that kinda like a buy one get one free deal? Or is it some sort of pyramid scheme? It does sound a little too good to be true.
Why is it that they say they'll pay one of you for someone's thoughts, but if I wanted to tell them what I was thinking then I have to give them two cents? Seems slightly suspicious to me. If they want my thoughts so badly, you would think they would be willing to cough up that extra penny. And frankly, I think my opinions are worth a lot more than that. But I often give them away for free.
I ought to rethink this situation.
But mostly, Mr. Penny, I wanted to thank you. I know you often hear how useless you are. How we should just do away with you altogether. And that must be really discouraging.
I thought you ought to hear how I appreciate you. You allow my little boy to feel generous. You see, I never give him silver coins. But you, I'll give. That allows him to share his money and feel like Daddy Warbucks. That makes you special, Penny. I wonder, do you ever notice how a kid's face will light up when he picks you up off of the ground? You must feel so neglected, lying there. But you give joy and generosity.
And it only costs a penny.
That's my two cents worth,