Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Dear World,

You may not know this, but my daddy is an inventor. He can grab some things out of his stash of treasures and turn it into a something useful. Recently he made extensions for his truck mirrors out of the bottom of crutches. Sometimes I wish I could see the possibilities in a pile of junk. I have accumulated quite the impressive pile in my attempts to be more like him. But it still just looks like junk to me. 

While I may not be an inventor, I can tell you about a two things that would be bad inventions. 

1. The Barf-O-Matic Alarm

The sounds of retching quickly awaken and rapidly deploy all mommies

~Messy to use. 
~Cause much extra housework which causes more exhaustion.
~After the initial surge of adrenaline, sleep quickly returns. 
~Occasionally the snooze button feature works, but is irregular (and unwelcome) in nature. 
~Does not seem to work on daddies. 

All attempts of utilizing this device with the daddy backfired with duplicate "alarms" from the daddy. Any and all experiments have been terminated. 

2. The Awaker Dog; a dog alarm clock

Effective in its persistent volume

~No snooze button.
~No off button. 
~No way to set the time that it would start "alarming". 
~No way to set it to not "alarm" on Saturday. 

I have confirmed these conclusions thru lengthy research. My neighbors kindly supplied the Awaker Dog for the test trials. I am currently working on another invention, "The Awaker Dog Silencer .22" with encouraging results.

Wishing I was still sleeping,


  1. Love you girl, some how you missed the train horn alarm. I know you can work it in there some how.

  2. Oh my goodness, the other morning I had "Rogue Rooster Alarm." I don't know if Hubby forgot to lock them in, or he just stayed out all night, but I came very near to pitching a bar of soap out of the upstairs bathroom window just to shut him up.

    Next time I will use "Crockpot Soup Silencer."